Home | Index
of Activities | Therapeutic
Handouts for Self-esteem Sessions
After a while... you learn
the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining
And you learn... that love
doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security,
And you begin... to learn
that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises,
And you begin... to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with
the grace of an adult,
And you learn... to build
all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans,
After a while... you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden...
and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn... that you
really can endure... that you really are strong, and
you really do have worth....!
Winners and Losers
The Winner is always a part of the answer;
The Loser is always a part of the problem.
The Winner always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.
The Winner says, "Let me do it for you.";
The Loser says, "That's not my job."
The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem in every answer.
The Winner sees a green near every sand trap;
The Loser sees two or three sand traps near every green.
The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it's possible.";
The Loser says, "It may be possible but it's too difficult."
BE A WINNER
|WORDS TO LIVE BY
Life is made up,not
of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in
which smiles and kindness and small obligations, given
habitually are what win and preserve the heart and secure
by Humphrey Davey
|ELIMINATE THE NEGATIVE- ACCENTUATE
by Sister Winifred Edlebeck,
Stroke Survivor, Racine, Wisconsin
The majority of those trying
to make a comeback from a stroke will find themselves
at time over-whelmed by some negative thought patterns,
or maybe even a situation that seems impossible to overcome.
After having struggled with some of these paralyzing conditions
myself, I began to wonder what would happen if, in my
own mind, I just substituted it opposite. Compiling this
list of "opposites" has actually given me a
new look at life, with a fresh, optimistic perspective.
Maybe it will do the same for you.
|When faced with---
||When faced with---
||Sources of Support
|Recipe for Success
Measure all ingredients
carefully, for inconsistency of blending ingredients
can produce a less than desirable product.
Melt away FEAR.
Dice in LOVE.
Add a dash of HUMOR.
Accompanied by DETERMINATION.
Add a pinch of SPICE (diversification).
Whisk in CREATIVITY.
Present WITH A POSITIVE
Produces THE HAPPIEST OF
Uncover THE GOODNESS IN
Season with HAPPINESS
|STRATEGIES FOR BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM
Crises of self-esteem are
a part of the human experience. When you feel troubled
by low self- esteem, review the suggestions below and
choose those that are relevant to your situation and work
on them. Be patient with yourself: change takes time and
- Free yourself from "should've".
Live your life on the basis of what is possible for
you and what feels right to you instead of what you
or others think you "should" do. "Should've"
distract us from identifying and fulfilling our own
needs, abilities, interests and personal goals. Find
out what you want and what you are good at, value those,
and take actions designed to fulfill your potential.
- Respect your own needs.
Recognize and take care of your own needs and wants
first. Identify what really fulfills you--not just immediate
gratification's. Respecting your deeper needs will increase
your sense of worth and well-being.
- Set achievable goals.
Establish goals on the basis of what you can realistically
achieve, and then work step-by-step to develop your
potential. To strive always for perfectionist absolute
goals--for example, "Anything less than an A in
school is always unacceptable"--invites stress
- Talk to yourself positively.
Stop listening to your "cruel inner critic."
When you notice that you are doubting or judging yourself,
replace such thoughts with self- accepting thoughts,
balanced self-assessment and self-supportive direction.
- Test your reality. Separate
your emotional reactions--your fears and bad feelings--
from the reality of your current situation. For example,
you may feel stupid, anxious and hopeless about a project,
but if you think about it, you may still have the ability
and opportunity to accomplish something in it.
- Experience success. Seek
out and put yourself in situations in which the probability
of success is high. Look for projects which stretch--but
don't overwhelm--your abilities. "Image" yourself
succeeding. Whatever you accomplish, let yourself acknowledge
and experience success and good feelings about it.
- Take chances. New experiences
are learning experiences which can build self- confidence.
Expect to make mistakes as part of the process; don't
be disappointed if you don't do it perfectly. Feel good
about trying something new, making progress and increasing
- Solve problems. Don't
avoid problems, and don't moil about them. Face them,
and identify ways to solve them or cope with them. If
you run away from problems you can solve, you threaten
- Make decisions. Practice
making and implementing positive decisions flexibly
but firmly, and trust yourself to deal with the consequences.
When you assert yourself, you enhance your sense of
yourself, learn more, and increase your self-confidence.
- Develop your skills. Know
what you can and can't do. Assess the skills you need;
learn and practice those.
- Emphasize your strengths.
Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot.
Accept current limitations and live comfortably within
them, even as you consider what strengths you might
want or need to develop next.
- Rely on your own opinion
of yourself. Entertain feedback from others, but don't
rely on their opinions. Depend on your own values in
making decisions and deciding how you feel about yourself
and what is right for you to do.
|SELF ESTEEM - 15 ways to help children
1. Reward children. Give
praise, recognition, a special privilege or increased
responsibility for a job well done. Emphasize the good
things they do, not the bad.
2. Take their ideas, emotions
and feelings seriously. Don't belittle them by saying
"You'll grow out of it" or "It's not as
bad as you think."
3. Define limits and rules
clearly, and enforce them. But do allow leeway for your
children within these limits.
4. Be a good role model.
Let your children know that you feel good about yourself.
Also let them see too that you can make mistakes and learn
5. Teach your children how
to deal with time and money. Help them spend time wisely
and budget their money carefully.
6. Have reasonable expectations
for your children. Help them to set reachable goals so
they can achieve success.
7. Help your children develop
tolerance toward those with different values, backgrounds
and norms. Point out other people's strengths.
8. Give your children responsibility.
They will feel useful, and valued.
9. Be available. Give support
when children need it.
10. Show them that what they
do is important to you. Talk with them about their activities
and interests. Go to their games, parent's day at school,
drama presentations, awards ceremonies.
11. Express your values,
but go beyond "do this" or "I want you
to do that." Describe the experiences that determined
your values, the decisions you made to accept certain
beliefs, the reasons behind your feelings.
12. Spend time together.
Share favorite activities.
13. Discuss problems without
placing blame or commenting on a child's character. If
children know that there is a problem but don't feel attacked,
they are more likely to help look for a solution.
14. Use phrases that build
self esteem, such as "Thank you for helping"
or "That was an excellent idea!" Avoid phrases
that hurt self esteem "Why are you so stupid?";"How
many times have I told you?"
15. Show how much you care
about them. Hug them. Tell them they are terrific and
that you love them.
Source: National PTA
Activities & Tx pages sponsored by compuTR and maintained by Charles
If reprinting ideas from this page, please give credit.